It seems somehow that I have inadvertantly become a cougar. I don't want to be one, but it seems lately that I keep attracting guys that are on the low end of their twenties!! How did this happen? I mean, I don't wanna be a cougar!! What the hell am I supposed to do with a freshly blossomed man? Granted that I look younger than I am, but in my mind, it's not all about looks. I don't know, maybe they like my confidence and wisdom attached to the seemingly young looking face....
I have to say though that the young guys have AMAZING bodies. Now that's where the cougar kind of creeps up. The other night I was talking to this twenty one year old and he started showing me his tattoos and I was like, "MOMMA LIKE!!" Hell, I think it showed on my face because he got a lot closer after that.
Or the twenty three year old I was talking to at work and I flirtatiously leaned over the bar to touch his arms, squeezed his biceps and I swear to god, my blood ran cold, my thighs burst into flame and I forgot how to speak English....I just kind of made gutteral noises between my girlish giggling. That dude had guns. (For those of you not hip to the lingo, guns are arms, not actual weapons. I guess in this day and age, I have to specify because we live in a crazy gun-toting, shoot 'em up, violence happy society.) And he had a really nice smile too I must add. I told him how old I am and he still was hitting on me and asking me for my phone number!!
Now going on the track record I have had with guys my age, dare I become a cougar? I think not. Because if I can't get a man my age who "gets it", or even gets me for that matter, what the hell can a young buck do for me?!?! Of course there is the arguement that cougars and young men hook up for the sex. Yes, I too like sex, but that is not all I seek. I want so much more than that and though it would be fucking AWESOME to go at it with a young man and see how long it takes me to dry his well, it wouldn't really thrill me in the long run.
But hey, I'm not saying that they should stop hitting on me....
: )
So the British guy is no more. Yet another short lived New York affair...
He told me last week at the last moment that he had an out of town visitor coming in for the weekend. OK, I thought, no biggie. I'd let him hang with his friend and not say anything about seeing each other while the friend was around. So I sent him a text on Friday, the first day the friend got in. I just sent a nice, cute little text saying that I was thinking of him.
No answer back.
So I waited a day or two, thinking that they were busy catching up and he just didn't pay attention to the first text. Or maybe he saw it, smiled and kept on hanging out. I sent another one, saying something along the lines of "Where are you?"
No answer.
OK. At that point I was puzzled and a little pissed. We had been spending a lot of our free time together and I thought that we were kind of cool with each other. I mean, we layed on the couch, watched movies together, ordered food in all the time, fooled around, took showers together--you know, couple stuff. Yet now, here I was all of the sudden out in the lurch. And for no reason I could think of. I was just cast away!! So I let another day or two go by and I sent another text in which I said, "Not quite sure why you have stopped speaking to me..."
Still no answer.
Until the next day. He sent me a text which he said that he was sorry he was MIA and that he was an idiot, he thought he lost his phone during the weekend but it he finally found it in his store. What a crock of shit. And I told him I didn't believe it. And then guess what? You guessed it, no answer after that. So at that point I had had it. That switch that you have inside, you know the one that is on for someone you care about but can be switched off when you are so through with them? Mine switched off, and then broke off so it could not be turned back on again. So I sent a text stating that I didn't want to see him. Then all of the sudden I get texts saying that he wants to see me and he's sorry. I told him that he could state his case to me in person at work.
Now before I tell you the crock of bullshit he layed on me, I must state that it was at this time that it hit me that that motherfucker was hanging out with another woman. Think about it. If he had a guy friend in town, he would have at the very least answered my texts or given me a call. In my experience what guys do is bring their friends around to show off the new girl they're seeing. If that had been a male friend, he would have invited me out with them or swung by my bar, sat for a few free beers and he would have shown me off. I know how guys operate. But he didn't do any of that. So that's how I knew it was a woman he had over. I told him in one of my texts that I suspected he did and it turns out I was right.
He comes to the bar, sits down and spun me this tale about how he knew this woman before me, made plans for her to visit this weekend. He said that he told her about me. And then toward the end of her visit, she tells him that she wants to be with him and to dump me, and he was totally surprised by her plea. He said that he let her know that he couldn't do that, and she got embarrassed and called up the airline to make he flight out earlier because she was embarrassed.
Umm. OK. First off, I bet he knew that woman had feelings for him, hence his keeping his distance from me. If he had told her about me, it would have been no problem to text or call me. He would have brought her to my bar and had us meet. But he knew that she liked him, or even deeper than that, he was playing the game, that explains why I hadn't heard from him. What an asshole. It wasn't like we were exclusive or anything, he didn't have to try to keep this woman from me. But he's so stupid that he has NO GAME and fucked this all up big time in like the worst possible way!! This goes down in the annals of the "Worst Game" Hall of Fame, and we're not talking about sports guys... Ugh. I feel so stupid now for hanging out with a guy that is that retarded!! And by the way, he had no ass either, but I let it slide for the accent. Who's the bigger loser, me or him?!?! (At this point, you are supposed to say him.) And this on the heels of the no furniture having loser.
God....
Well I forgot to tell of the guy I was seeing for a bit this summer. A real piece of work. We were together for about two months, I knew it wasn't going to last after about two weeks. Why didn't I end it then? Oh I don't know. I think it was a combination of his being uber-sensitive and the fact that he was tall and good looking. However, as you know, when you aren't into the person anymore, the looks don't matter. So in essence, what it comes down to is that I let it drag on because he was tall. God how sad...
Well the problems all started when I realised that he didn't have anything going on in his life. He only worked two nights a week (bartender) and other than that, he did nothing. He wasn't taking any classes, wasn't working on a novel, wasn't saving up to buy a boat, wasn't painting, wasn't doing anything--nothing!! One night he got totally drunk--we had only been together about two weeks--and he went on a tirade about how the things I told him about my dreams, my plans for the future, didn't include him. Umm....let me repeat that. My dreams about the future--things I had planned LONG before I had even met him--didn't include him. Two weeks I had been with him, and he was mad that I didn't include him in my life long dreams... It was like he expected me to be his everything now that we were dating because he was doing nothing.
But it went even way beyond that. He didn't have any furniture!! Yeah, I swear, he didn't have any furniture. He didn't have a couch, table, no dressers, bureaus, desk, chairs, lamps, shelves, end tables, anything!! All he had was a futon-like bed in the bedroom and a coffee table in the front room (he lives in a two room apartment) that had crap all over it. So not having a couch made it seem like he didn't even have that coffee table with the crap all over it. What did we do when we watched DVD's that he played on his PS2 you ask? Sat on the floor. Yes, you heard right, we sat on the floor. I tried to give it a shot, but after a couple of times of bruising my ass trying to give this guy a chance, I got over it....real fast. I even stormed out of his house one night angry that he had me sitting on the floor in his house. I mean, he didn't even buy oversized pillows or anything to throw on the floor for us to hang!! Not only that, he didn't have a cell phone, no internet, no cable, no satellite radio, not even a working television!! The TV that he had worked on an antenna, and he got it third-hand from a friend of his, and the picture was totally fucked. When trying to watch a Jets game one Sunday, I swear I couldn't tell which team was which because the picture was so bad. And he also had an old school stereo, you know, the kind that you had back in college--the one piece unit that had the three CD changer, the tape player and the radio...which also used an antenna. And he didn't even have any CD's. No DVD's.
So what did I do when I stayed over at his place you ask? Nothing. We just got there after a night of drinking, fooled around, then woke up and I would do my best to get the hell out of there. Would you believe his apartment was a fucking dead zone for my cell, I couldn't even get on the web on my phone. It was horrible!! And the longer I hung out there, the worse it got. I tried to give him a chance, but it became totally clear hat he didn't have a thing to offer to the relationship...at all.
But he wanted me to be with him all the time. He'd get mad at me when I told him I had to get home so I could do things like my banking, emailing, blogging and even general laying on the couch to watch movies, things I could not do at his bullshit apartment. He treated me as if I were to drop everything I had going on in my life for the relationship. Like I was supposed to be in some fantasy love cocoon with him and watch the world go by together as he had alone all those years.
Sure buddy.
Needless to say, it ended way too long after it should have: two months. Thank god he has the good sense to stay away from me and not bother me, which I think is because he knows that he's fucking crazy.
Why are there so many crazy, un-cute guys in New York City?!?!
Posts
