OK so I had a date last night with a dude I met a couple of weeks ago at my bar. I hadn't seen him for a while, but we had texted on the phone for a bit. Now I have this crazy problem with my memory...oh I don't know, could have been all that pot I used to smoke. I wore my new heeled boots and when he walks up to me at the bar in the restaurant, I forgot how much shorter than me he is. So of course, here we are walking through the restaurant, this guy and me, the bohemith amazon. Not to mention the fact that when I was waiting for him at the bar, I was chatting with this other guy that struck up a conversation with me. So when my guy shows up, we three are talking and I happened to have stood up for the two of them and would you believe it? I felt like Snow White with two of the dwarves.
Well we ate a fabulous seafood dinner--king crab legs, oysters, two bottles of wine, trout and scallops. I got bombed on the wine. White wine always gets to me. Except champagne. Go figure. Anyway, I made the suggestion that we go hang at my bar for a bit, as he lives right near it and I wanted people at work to see who I was with just in case of my sudden disappearance.
I keep myself safe that way.
Far be it from me to be rude (drunk) and in the cab on the way to my bar and as my date was talking, I kept thinking about how short he is (wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying) and I grabbed him and kissed him. Wasn't as passionate as I would have liked. He sat there and kissed me back, but I swear he was more analysing the meaning behind it (my penchant serial drunk makeouts) rather than enjoying it. Laaaaaammme.
So we get to my bar and we keep drinking. My co-workers got to see me drunk. Not work drunk, but regular drunk. I don't even remember what the hell I was drinking or how much I had, but I do remember that this one guy who I'm pretty sure likes me got all jealous that I was out on a date...with a shorter, older, and probably in his mind less cooler guy. And the guy I was on the date with told me that he thought that the other guy likes me. He said that when we first met, that guy was giving him the stink eye!! So here I am with new guy on a date and this must have burned my admirer up. Oh yes, oh yes...
Not sure how I feel about my admirer, but I would make out with him. Totally.
Well I go back home with my date and at this point, I remember walking up the stairs, then I remember getting into bed, then telling him I need to pass out and I can't fool around anymore, then I wake up and he's standing across the room naked!! Hahaha!! I just looked at his penis and thought, "Oh god." I don't know why I thought that, possible it was the hangover speaking. But now that I think about it, I didn't see any pubes, just flesh. Weird.
Would you believe as I just wrote that last sentence, I just got a text from him and he's drunk again tonight and asked me if I took the hanger from his closet. Hahahaha!! I should state that this apartment is his Manhattan apartment, he has a house in Staten Island. So he doesn't really keep much clothing there and has only one hanger...which has now gone missing. And he just drunk texted me about it.
Oh yeah, this blog should be good.
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