Ooohhh-kaaayyy. In the past week, I have been hit on by old men!! I shouldn't say old, but older, but yes indeed, old. The oldest of them all, a seventy four year old man was by far the greatest. Now first off, he was a good looking old guy. Really, he looked good and you could tell he was hot when he was younger!! Well there he was chatting with me--and his wife in in the room, complete with family--and he asks me:
"So you want to fool around on the side?"
I started laughing. How cute!! This old schooler just comes out and asks, but yet asks in a way that he acknowleges his having a wife. You gotta love the old school.
"You're a married man. I don't think I could." I was trying to be nice. I was trying to be old school too. I smiled warmly.
"Come on," he says and grins before saying the most hilarious thing I have heard all week, "It's OK. I go down, I eat pussy." And he grins again.
When I tell you that I was shocked that something like that would come out of the seventy four year old man's mouth, I mean I stopped for a second, stared into his eyes for like ten seconds (as he's still flashing me his pearly whites--and they were pearly I tell you), and all I could do was smile again, give a little giggle and say, "Oh, you dirty little boy!!"
Well of course I immediately ran over to my gay barback and told him what happened and the two of us just died for like ten seconds. This guy was a trip.
Then the next night I walk into my bar on my night off and one of our regulars who lives across the country that comes to our place when he's in the city, is sitting there. So he's an older guy, about fifty four I believe and he's from LA so he looks pretty good too. So he and I are chatting and he starts dropping hints about wanting to have fun outside his marriage because he's been with his wife since high school or something. Again, I was like, what? Another married older man wants to fool around with me? Is this like Fleet Week for married old guys?
Well the next guy that tried to get at me this week is a guy that I actually know. He's in his mid-sixties and we have known each other for ten years now. He loves to try to have me up to his house all the time, which is in Westchester, but I get the feeling he likes me to be on his turf a lot. Because it's his big, gorgeous house, and I can't get away so easily. Not that I'm saying he's a pervert or anything, but that too is an old school move: get the lady in your house especially if it is in the country so she can't readily just leave. You can always try to convince her to stay. I bet that's how the Christmas song Baby It's Cold Outside was written. But anyway, I had dinner with my friend, a he did try to pull the "Stay Here" routine. But I had to get back home and get things done.
You know, I like hanging out with older gentlemen because it's classy, they aren't jerks, they have money (thank god!! Sorry young, hot broke guys....), and they have a lot of stories to tell, which personally I dig. I think that's why I attract a lot of older men. I think they like to tell their stries and I like listening to them, and I understand what they're saying and if they're good looking, I lay some more charm on them. I can't help it. They're older, they deserve attention too!! However, it's actually been a long time since I dated a much older man. Perhaps I should give it another go....but god they'd better not be freakin' married!!
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